BOUNDARIES: WHEN TO SAY YES AND HOW TO SAY NO TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE WITHOUT FEELING BAD.
What comes to your mind when you think of boundaries? I am sure everyone reading this letter will come up with their own interpretation of what boundaries means to them. With that said, there are some boundaries that should be automatic as humans.
For instance, if you have a co-worker who is very private, and you never hear them discussing their business, relationships, or children with you and that colleague is going through a divorce and they never divulged that information to you. Why would colleague #2 walk up to colleague #1 and ask them “What will the arrangements be for you and your family after the divorce? How often, will you both share the children?” That is downright out of line and you are crossing major boundaries.
It’s not appropriate and it’s beyond evasive to ask someone whom you are not in a personal relationship with these types of questions. This is where basic boundaries come in and asking yourself first “if someone asked me this type of intimate question how would I take it?”
Sometimes, all it takes is thinking first before you allow those words to roll off of your tongue.
Another scenario that stood out to me is, if you are out to an event with friends and the majority of people at the dinner table are married couples – talking about your single life and not keeping things PG is crossing boundaries, being overly touchy with someone’s mate is crossing boundaries, although it’s innocent, there are boundaries and protocol that should be followed.
I can give you many scenarios, but I believe you all get where I am going.
Boundaries are put in place for a reason. It’s to protect both parties from being humiliated or put in an uncomfortable situation. Before we go out of our homes please make a conscious effort to set boundaries not only for ourselves but for others.
When we do this, we would have less contention in our marriages, in raising our children, in the workplace, and in dealing with family and friends.
Boundaries is not for a selective few they are for all of us and when we use it – it makes the world a better place for us and our children’s future because they’re watching.
Stand strong,
Andrea P Jackson